Monday, October 25, 2010

The March of Kane, a Rally to Restore Sanity

My brothers, I was excited for the first time in a couple of years.

John Stewart announced that he's holding a Rally to Restore Sanity. A march on D.C. to make all aware of the rich old men with rich old money calling the shots outside of our government. I for one, couldn't be more excited.  This is the exact kind of movement I've wanted to organize, and my once polar-opposite, John Stewart, ended up doing it for me. What a stellar chap.

Mates, I'll make this brief to maximize readers. Its being held on Saturday, if you dont want a hotel, ill be driving there with my girl. You are MORE THAN WELCOME to meet up with the Godfather himself. And by welcome, I mean it'd be a damn honor to meet some of you, my friends and comrades. Get a suit, get a facemask, its the only DC rally you can wear a face mask on, because its Halloween.  Get motivated! Get a fucking clue and google "Rothschild" already, they aren't even good at covering up their greedy little mistakes. (greedy being a very gentle word in this case)

If anybody DOES want to meet up with myself, leave a comment, this event is HUGE my friends, our generation's Woodstock they are saying. There are already satellites across the world, independently hosted. If you could get a plane ticket, I would suggest it. I would suggest not missing this under any circumstances, but that's just me. I demanded off from work, they were very surprised. And with the facemasks, we can meet up in person, without the whole real life nonesense affecting our anonymous selves.

Keep the peace mates,
JKane

tl;dr ...
Meetup in DC, Rally Against Old Money, Fight for the Proletariat!\
Comment if your interested, cry in shame if you aren't.

Friday, October 22, 2010

Becoming a Hero

A personal inspiration of mine brought up something which got my brain whirring once more. As we all do, my friend is going through a bit of a rough time in his life, as far as mental stability goes in this dog-eat-what-his-servants-make-for-him world. His words are words we all speak, and I'm glad that they were spoken. They speak of the same frustrations we all deal with, never achieving what we're told we should. And never being what we're told we should be. Every hero you grew up watching on tv, the always charismatic always ready stalwart guardian of justice and honor and all that other jazz we don't really understand until much later. The sense of purpose we're supposed to get from holding a steady job, and getting a steady paycheck. In my friends sarcastic words, "I just want to make you happy, please don't be mad at me, I'll stay in my home and do what you tell me, keep me safe please." Now, as dramatic as that sounds, it speaks through the generations and far into the future, I'm afraid. It's the same mentality that has kept our loved ones in fear of some invisible friend/enemy their parents taught them about. Much like their invisible leaders, and decision makers, and law makers, the faceless, blameless cookie-cutter corporation that we let buy and sell our lives, that we trust every aspect of our lives to.  These people have manicured pasts, carefully brought up and raised to be able to make a connection with the general population, while still keeping an air of superiority. With a past so untroubled and unexciting it's inhuman. With a wife attractive, yet plain enough to be accessible to the general public. With children, to appeal to the family census. Our leaders will have a strong background in rhetoric, public speaking, law, and other forms of manipulation. And their opponents always shown in black and white, unflattering poses, with a dread-filled music brewing in the background. Here are a few quotes I've taken out of context about my opponent. Here's me kissing a baby, and shaking a hand. I'm just like you, I was born to act just like you.

But I digress. These people we call leaders are human, and more importantly, they are self absorbed, egotistical to the point of being monstrous, and deathly afraid of public judgement. The people we call our Leaders are just like you in me, just born into a different family.

If you'll allow me, I wish to share a short story of my life with you. I always looked up to the guardians in books and tv, the renegade hero or the roguish charmer with a quick epee and faster wit. These mammoths of personality and reputation. I wanted to be the person that people hear my name, and know that they can trust me with their lives. This is the birth of a monster, my friends. It is where every hero stems, and every monster feeds. I can honestly say, all of my life, I've wanted to save people for selfish purposes. Having done the racket for a while, this evolved into a more stable rule from years of trial and grievous error. Fight for those that cannot, inspire those that can, and secure the freedom of choice to the working force. Worker's of the World, Unite! But in all those years of fighting, struggling with my own identity and sense of worth, going through depression and monotony, often stumbling into hero moments. And after years, I still felt nothing like the heroes on tv. I still had to enforce my image as a soldier to get people to back down from a fight, still had to prove I could lead when a group needed a leader. My experience made me skilled, but it wouldn't make me a great man in other people's eyes. Now, I won't go into why we should be concerned about other peoples images, or the seeming contradiction between being a public speaker who doesn't care about people's opinions... You lie to yourself the more you lie to people, simply put. Choose your own path.

I didn't feel like the hero, and I still don't. I don't feel like a sniper, and I don't feel like a martial artist, or a traceur, or anything else I set my mind to become throughout my 2 and a half decades. And I hate to tell you mates, but the only way your going to feel like that, is when other people start calling you that. Until then, all we can do is motivate ourselves, make a difference with every day. Make a coil gun, learn to wall run, pick a lock, or talk to a mirror and practice that grin. But please, improve yourself. Better the person you are, and you will become a better person. When I tell you that there is no difference between you and the 8 figure salary fatcat we all love to hate, I mean it. None of us are any different, but we are ALL unpredictable. We can do whatever the fuck we want, including posting How-To manuals for making improvised machines of death.

But Daddy Kane, how do I go into that world of heavy hitters and serious people? Look, mates, I can write you article after article, and I am more than willing to, about how to conquer this fear and that. But when it comes down to it, you cant fucking fail if you just keep learning. Go out and get a public speaking book, talk to a mirror. That alone just multiplied your average earning in this life. Get a smile, get a suit, learn from your enemies. The Master's Mansion can only be brought down by using the Master's Tools. And they've got an extensive mansion so far. Make yourself into a hero, and then act like that hero. Don't waste your day, mates... It's not about it might being your last. It's about every day being the only day you get a chance at. Your never going back, and forward holds only death. Past that, Daddy Kane can't help you... But until then, you have brothers to support you, and friends to lead. You have a valuable, one of a kind tool of modern warfare raging inside of that skull, mates. Prime it with knowledge, and hone it with repetition.

I have so much more I'd like to say on this topic, so many more words of reassurance... But I also know how the brain works, and your going to have to learn on your own pace. A teacher isn't a teacher if he can't teach to his students, after all. Just... Know your not alone mates. If you want specific advice, ask away. If you made it this far, I'm glad I kept you entertained.

Keep posted for my next update, including coil weapons and MAYBE the PVC Sniper Rifle, depending on the level of interest. The frame is the complicated part, so it'll take a bit to explain. However it's operation is easy to build and use. I love all of you, brothers. Fight the good fight, brothers.

If you take one thing from this, nobody can stop you from achieving what you want. The Columbine Boys died for their cause, even if their message was censored by the media. For the record, uncensored transcripts of the two soldiers last video can be found here.

http://acolumbinesite.com/quotes2.html

While I cannot condone violence, because it is illegal, usually unwanted, and generally uncalled for; and would NEVER condone murder under any circumstances, it's chilling to hear a revolutionaries last words, knowing he's about to die. Very moving... And a nice wake-up call as to how much the media strips from you in the search for popular, money making world events.

Fight the Power, mates.
-JKane

P.S.

I've edited the closing words a bit after re-reading them, and hearing some comments from my friends. Rorsharch , BlueRAD and Angry Veg amongst them. I felt it came off too much pushing for a violent uprising, rather than directing the reader to the blurry line we all place when a 'government' has a cause, and when two boys have a cause. I speak so often in irony and sarcasm, I forget I have at least a slight obligation not to direct my readers (few as they are) towards any actions I would feel vilified for having spurred. As we all know, I am a lover of peace and understanding, weapons and war should only ever be a reaction to weapons and war. My intent here is to center on what the media didn't, as it did a damn fine job of shedding light on the tragedy and terrible outcome for the families of the victims as it is.

I've also changed the image of the two soldiers in question, as their post-mortem picture in the library also unsettled the intent, and would might be a bit disrespectful. (though I'm sure they'd love the coverage, in all honesty.)

Monday, October 18, 2010

Janus Kane on Mastering Fear and Pain

The Wasteland Chronicles
Your Body, The Colony Ship
Part 1: Fear and Pain

You've been alive for some time now, and chances are that you've noticed your body isn't wholly apart of you as a person. Everything that you think you are exists right in the majority of your skull. To break it down simply, your thoughts are made from existing thoughts stored in your subconscious brain, towards the base of your brain at the stem. Those thoughts get there by your reception organs. e.g. eyes, ears, tongue, nose, tactile... But wait, theres more. Balance, Pain, Direction, Acceleration, Kinesthetic, and Temperature. To be clear, there are even more senses, the original 5 are from medieval terminology. Lungs have stretch receptors for automated breathing, chemo receptors, cutaneous receptors, and a mess more that give you feedback. This feedback makes who you are, based on outside interference and you're natural rate of growth. That growth shouldn't be thought of as your true or pure self. The natural path is one of adaption, and you'll find it no matter what you run into.

With that in mind, we come into pain and fear. These particular feedbacks are particularly powerful for you to use. When your afraid, or retract from pain during an action, your mind will store that away as a dangerous scene to avoid. You don't control this, you can only set up yourself to respond differently. How do we do that, you might be asking. Or perhaps you're saying something like "I can choose to do anything I want." Well you're wrong, I suggest you take this opportunity to learn something new about yourself. While we cant decide our reactions, we can always give ourselves the proper tools to react with. We're going to go into two very important aspects of preparing yourself. I can promise you it will save your life a number of times, without fail. Fear and pain are important features to keep us safe, but they often stop us from advancing. You have one life, and twenty or eighty years end up being the same thing when your on your last breath. So please, keep reading, and become what you can.

Pain Reflex
The feeling of pain will often make you flinch, right? I bet you even avoid it. But why? Pain itself doesn't hurt you, grievous injury does that. Though the two are tied together, they needn't be synonymous with one another. Remember when we were talking about ourselves being trapped inside the skull? Well, thats more or less a literal translation of what you are. You are not your body, though you are tied to it. The old philosophical debate of how much of a human you have to remove to make him inhuman? Enough to kill the brain, that is all. The heart is made of millions of organisms, and they make up the lifeform of a heart. They make up muscle fibers and tendons to move the pulley system of your arms and legs. They make up your stomach, which converts other life into energy to run your colony ship. You are god. And like our gods, we are trapped with our worshipers. Pain is one of the ways these sectors of our ship tell us something is happening. Embrace that, realize it's your job to protect and rule your body. But Daddy Kane... I don't get it. How do we stop pain? You don't. But it will stop you. While you're flinching, or cringing, or even bleeding out, pain will inflict you and tell you harder and harder that you have to do something. When you get shot, the next second will decide if you live or die. Do you whip your pistol out, bumrush the attacker, or fall to your knees. Just like that, how well trained you are in pain will decide your lifespan. You can either curl up, and let darkness take us. Allowing the master some rest from it's duties after so many years... Or, you can stop being a little bitch, and suck it up. Here's how.

Pain isn't suffering. Suffering is the resistance of pain. That small, fine difference is difficult to learn on your own, but with enough training you'd come to that conclusion yourself. So I'll save you the fucked up bones and lifelong muscle aches, and just tell you that off that bat. Pain just says hi, and then we freak out... Or, you don't notice it. Like the stories of people being stabbed without noticing it. If you accept that something is happening rather than resisting it, you will be able to walk through fire.  Try this sometime with a friend. You'll need a firearm with paintrounds, or beanbag rounds. Or alternatively, a melee-based taser. The goal is to put earmuffs on to heighten surprise, and have your friend ambush you around corners you dont know hes behind. Whats likely going to happen is your knees will drop out and you'll shake alot. Have him shoot you again when your down. Keep it up, you'll find that very soon, you're instead leaning into the attacks, pushing through them instinctively. You win the game when you shock/shoot him or disarm him. You lose when you piss yourself. Change, and return to the game, life doesn't wait for babies. Try experimenting with pain, try performing minute actions like writing or aiming while experiencing pain. Learn your limits, before the world does.

Fear is a control-freak coward
What about fear, Daddy Kane? Listen up mates, fear is the single most destructive force in your world. In your life, your going to have less than a second to get what you want at any given moment. You need to REACT, not act. You cant do shit for you when your body in danger, thats why we have a reptilian/unconscious brain. This high speed portion of our inner workings translates our past knowledge from our conscious side at a blazing rate. As a fun fact, your peripherals are ten times faster when reacting to moving objects due to their connection directly into the reactionary reflex, as opposed to the center of vision, which deals with clarity, distance, object differentials, and all the other jazz we memorize when we see something. That flash before your eyes, where you look back and can only remember seeing the baseball right in front of your face? Thats your brain trying to keep up, and failing. Thats you acting. Stop that.

Training your fear is super easy in comparison, and more or less painless. Though don't let pain stop you either, thats fears greatest weapons. Right up there with eternal damnation, taxes, and social constructs telling you that you can't rise above your station. Fuck them, in every form of that world. Only you, and Daddy Kane, can tell you what you can or can't do with your life. I'd say don't even listen to me, but it seems counterproductive at best. Go to a cliff over deep water, or a plane whilst wearing a parachute, or anything that won't kill outright. Go to the ledge of your fear, and step off. This is the brute force technique, and will weaken it's hold on your brain. However, to truly appreciate and therefore defeat fear, go to a windowless room. Turn off all of the lights, and sit in a chair. Cover up every source of light you can find. What you'll see, suddenly, is a writhing mass of blackness reaching out for you from the corner of your eyes. You'll see shapes, and feel like something is just about to grab you. It's right behind you, you can feel it brushing the back of your neck. You'll even hear voices, and see creatures lurk from the darkness. You'll see all of this because fear is a lieing bitch. Much like most misunderstood heroes, he means well, he just lacks tact. Fear is a dick, and a liar. Stare at those shadows, seriously, stare them down. Don't move though, just let them come closer and closer. They won't, and can't hurt you, because they are of course aren't there. Shadows don't exist without light.

So why do we see them? It's an illusion created from chemical rushes in our body, the survival instinct kicking in that makes us all jittery and unreasonable. Remember this mates, fear is a real thing, and it can and will stop you from succeeding in whatever you choose to do. When I tell you, my comrades, that confidence is the key. I mean it with a loving heart, hoping truly that you will learn what I have and rise above. We don't have a user manual for this body, and there won't be a highscore saved. Band together mates, understand yourself and thus accept others.

Keep the peace mates, accept no master but yourself.

-JKane

Saturday, October 16, 2010

Soda Machines and Car Jacking: Lockpicking for Intermediates

The Wasteland Chronicles
Raping Cola and Riding Hondas
Lockpicking Part 2: An intermediate guide.

We last left you in your recently fortified home, you've set up some traps for defense, and you have made a small arsenal of make-shift weapons and combat tools. Save for a one armed leather jacket, or a weather beaten duster, you're more or less a wasteland warrior fit for anything. But warriors need to eat, and new age warriors need caffeine. Taking count of your gear, you pack up a couple of grenades, your knife, and sling the rifle over your shoulder. Only 3 rounds, but they'll have to do. Checking the batteries on your flashlight, you hook it to your belt next to your water flask. You know by now how important it is to be prepared, and have made it a point to check your gear before leaving your stronghold. Before you go, the voice of Janus Kane reminds you to wear clean socks. You decide it would be best to put fresh socks on, and tie your boots tight. It's time to go out into the harsh world outside.

  The local gas station has already been looted, the smashed shards of glass scattered around the window, glinting in the dim moonlight. You've chosen night time for your food run, and you're keeping your light sources off, and cigarettes out. A red cherry can be seen from a mile away on the cigarette. Padding on soft footfalls you investigate the gas station further, creeping your way through an open window. The shelves have been stripped, save for some chemicals. You snag some extra bleach and ammonia, which you know will make Chlorine Gas when mixed equally. When twice the amount of ammonia is used, it'll make explosive rocket fuel, or Hydrazine. And when three the amount of bleach is used, you get Nitrogen Trichloride. To clarify, the latter will explode and the chemical itself is highly toxic. The second will probably xplode around heat, or friction. And the first is a nerve gas. Not that you should ever use this, but apocalypse happens.

    It seems like your going to go home without any Jolt Cola until out of the corner of your eye, you see a mangled, crowbarred to shit soda machine tipped over. Luckily, there's also a mangled corpse gripping a crowbar. It would seem the coffin of cola is safe from this particular marauder. There's opportunity everywhere in the wasteland! Brush off that carcass, and get to work! Daddy Kane has your back. First step... Make sure the electricity is cut, or the plug removed, or a nuke wiped the electronics out. You wouldn't want those pesky anti-theft devices blocking your attempts, or making noise in the wasteland night. Next, depending on the cost of the lock, you'll need some tools. For most cheap locks, you need a soda machine key, or tubular key. You can also get them at lockpick/smith stores, janitor closets(try kmart or walmart closets), or most soda trucks. File that thing down, if it doesn't work, so just the single pin on the outside sticking up from outside of the key is left. This is so you can insert, and twist it. Locking it into the lock. Now, tie something to the key, and then to a bar of some kind. Take this bar, and yank hard. You see, it's fatal flaw is that its usually held in by a single screw and metal fastener. It'll either pop off or bend enough that the soda machine opens right up.

In the case that this doesnt work, its likely a tougher lock with a nut and case assembly beneath. Making it mostly pull-proof. But fear not, your comrade in the apocalypse has just the answer. Unfortunately, you'll need a drill. The nut and case lock has a weakness of it's own, it's heavy metal look is just a coating, and the inside is nickel... Which drills like butter. Shouldn't take longer than 5 minutes with a hammer drill. If it still won't work, you might be dealing with an American-type lock. This ornery fucker is the equivalent of wolverine and the she-hulk's prodigy. Don't expect to drill or pick it with any real chance of timely success. You might have to resort... To more drastic measures.


But fuck it, right? I mean, you killed three men for their guns a few days ago... Morals get so hazy without a peer group. Another solid reason to get yourself a group in your new stronghold. But groups need sodas and snacks, so let's get this armored food chest cracked. Where the door meets the doorjam, there is a steel bar running the height of the machine. Locking it up top, bottom, and at the door jam. Unplug it, please. Get ontop of the thing, and take your trusty crowbar. Stick it into the top directly in a line above the lock, hammer it down if you have to, and lever it open with a few solid yanks. Holding it open, you can look down the wedge you made to see where the bar connect next along the doorjam. Pry that open, and repeat lower down. When all the bars are out, itll be open. The weakness here, is despite the thick iron bar, the locking connectors are only a quarter inch thick. Pop goes the weasel.

Snagging up a few bags of cola, snacks, and now useless denomination, you scurry back to your skyloft fortress. You have weapons, armor, sodas, and salty snacks. Now if only you had some friends...

See you in the Wasteland, mates. Hit up that poll.
-JKane

Wednesday, October 13, 2010

Shattered Sands, a Prelude

So, I've been working on a little novelette... Which, if I had my way, would be a massive chronicle depicting all of mankind as I see it. It plays out in an epic tale of the future, as most of my social commentary seems to. I thought I'd throw a little snippet from what I've gotten, an introduction. If you guys like it, I could even put my hands to work at getting more content... Big hands, ladies. I've been experimenting alot, but rest assured, there will always be plenty of variety in my way of showing love to my followers.


Chapter 18


The night air burned at the cloaked one’s eyes, drawing tears to cloud his vision of the dimly lit room. The soft red glow from outside casting jumping shadows across the richly decorated study room. Shifting, azure beads articulately scanning the room, glow softly beneath the low pulled hood. Taking in every detail to memory, making note of the pre-renaissance gothic architecture, the ancient Byzantine tapestries clinging to the imported oak wall carvings. With a shrug, he continues scanning until his starlight oculars settle upon what he came here for. Sitting on the post-information age desk, complete with archaic clock, sat a small chest whose make outdated any of this rooms’ historical artifacts. With the hint of a grin upon his thin lips, he reached forth with agile fingertips with the delicacy of a feather's fall. Tracing the designs etched and burned like memories into the surface of the relics past and present. "At last..."
A breeze settles tiny ashflakes down at the dark one's boots, sirring the pages of an opened tome sat on the desk wth it's face bound tight in flesh and metal wrappings, hard and dark with the years. Those piercing blue eyes shifting down to the rustle, slipping the box beneath his cloak. "One more piece couldn't hurt..." His boots pivoting sharply on the chilled marble floor, kicking up a whirlwind of soft gray ash. The only sound marking his swift exit onto the terrances outside is the forced escape of air through pistons as he leaps into the burning midnight. Outside the air splits wide with the crack of flames, and the shrill sirens of man-kinds ingenuity at work. A city that would burn for a box, in a world that never knew sleep.




1 Carved box from TechTerra stolen by Aetonine (809-515-766-9918-1473)
2 The VeriVichi, tome bound with hunter skin, edged with metal at corners and locked with a large metal clasp. Stolen by Aetonine on TechTerra.

TechTerra is a land of 'the future' a grim reminder of the human's work progressing until they forget why they progress, or in which direction. No identities, only numbers. Aetonine is his secret joke at the serial number he was implanted at his creation. TechTerra is home of the Council, who has 'liberated' many of the hundreds of planets mankind has populated so long ago. Many remain un-discovered, with the humans living out completely unaware they have brethern on other planets. If one wants to beleive all humans will make their downfall in under a millenia from now, then my world will have great spore ships. and they will colonize planets far and wide. You will see no earth, no true earth at least. Only the drifting sands of it's deserted surface. In my world mankind on earth has died as expected, its people forgetting about the colonies it sent far and wide across the universe. Some scientific pods, some miitary, some farming communities, all sent to give hope to a new beginning from the twilight of the humans.. But i set this world an undefined distance in the future, with evolution and adaption coming into play heavily. the word Human meaning only descendant of the Homo Sapien, the Thinking Man that gave them all life. We have now only the Homo Adaptus, the Homo Magi, the Homo Judicus, and countless other offspring of the once 'great' civilization. Perhaps this is my joke. How can one be so powerful, that they cannot understand their own creations? How does that make us super intelligent beings. I say it makes us children with guns, I say we forget about our past lives as hunters. And so i make a world shading our exact culture, on a universal scale. Worlds forgetting their days as budding hunters finding gunpowder, finding petrol and antimatter. Perhaps my favorite irony and personal message in this creation of worlds, this little novella to which I am the God and it is my people. Is how even the great Alexander and his magnificient statue dedicating his memories forever, is lost in a sea and lost in time. Now it is my sea that will wash our history, forgetting the past in all but trinkets and slips of memories. It is my world, your world, this world of 'the future' that we find something we may find scary to relate to. Or perhaps it is exciting, but to all, it is my gift, humbly so, to urge you.. no, to allow you to think.

And I know you won't if this isn't at the bottom, vote on the poll. The show must go on.
-JKane

A Little Different

Alright mates, you voted to hear a little more about my life... I'm all for it, you creepy bastards. But I'm gonna go a whole different route for this update. I'm with my brother tonight and we're watching Battlestar Galactica. I have a weekend, and I have smoked. With all that in mind my friends, I give you the choicer bits of our thoughts and observations of this stellar show.

This show has classic steady cam shots, where he doesn't have epilepsy.

We just watched a blonde chick snap an infants neck in the first ten minutes of the show. It was very powerful, and tastefully done. My brother finally breaks the minute long silence with "SNAP INTO A SLIM JIM!"

I often forget that other people don't view the human race as programmed, self-aware probes of existence itself. It makes for awkward jokes, at best.

(to the background music) Yes... Play me like a drum.

To be fair, we were more in awe by this mini series that headed the first season. The show is really breathtaking. My proletariate warriors out there might enjoy the social backtones throughout the whole movie-like series. I felt as if I were watching the birth of humanity, when the first person stood up and said "I know the right answer." And thus they followed. There was a scene in the first mini-series, where the earth and the colonies explode due to some terrible terrorist bombing with nukes. Robot Terrorists. It's much classier in the show. So humanity just got blown away, and we have Battlestar Galactica left, one of the old battleships that have archaic wiring jobs so you cant network hack... or some such  explanation. The board of education director stands up and starts telling people to do various tasks to help out. One guy stands up and says "Who put you in charge?" "Well.. I'm on the senate board" Or whatever she said along those similar lines. And the she berated him, by telling him to do something, and stop being so selfish. He sits down, the peer pressure making him uneasy. Is he panicking? And just like that, humanity had a god, a government. A top 2% telling the rest who to fight, who should die in the airlocks, who is or isn't worth their time or better living conditions.

Shits deep, man.
-JKane

Sunday, October 10, 2010

The Longest Weekend

Dear Daddy Kane,

    We are writing you with sincere worry and hope in our hearts, for we have not seen an update in three days. Please respond at your nearest convenience.

That's an excerpt of an email I received, one of dozens demanding my return. Unable to refuse that kind of statement, despite dozens of those emails never having been received, or any for that matter, I return to once again hand out the papers in the wasteland that is our future. But why, you ask? Well my friends, Janus works as a security guard. Which generally affords him loads of time to fuck about on his handy dandy netbook. But there was a promotion involved, and suddenly he had responsibilities. Hiring people, subsequently firing people from poor resume selection... The chore list goes on. But rest assure yon buckos, your old mate Janus Kane is back. Everyday I'd check your blogs, even if I couldn't comment, and it seemed like forever went by -not- posting. You've all taken breaks, was it strangely nerve wracking not posting for you too?

I think I'm addicted to blogging. Just typing this, I can already feel the knot in my back going away, and that reassuring, soothing voice narration of my more cinematic moments has returned from his sudden absence. Janus admitted with some relief.

In other news, get a shotgun shell, a plastic tube/pvc that fits gently around the shell and another longer one that fits around that, and a nail/screw. Insert shell, dig tube hole in the ground, screw the screw through the long pvc's cap, and insert cap first into hole. The simple and shell/tube combo ontop. Instant landmine. Use the old saltine trick for that extra 'shot' at keeping your fingers. (hehe...) Oh, and Potassium Chloride is widely available and very deadly in doses over 20cc. Just an afterthought.

If you could, help me to get back into the swing of things by voting on my poll. Your ever loving comrade,
-JKane

For those of you wondering, I've also been extremely busy with a website I've been working on. Tell your friends. :)

Thursday, October 7, 2010

There was a Time...

I had quite a few requests for some personal information about the person you've come to know intellectually. While I am touched, and wish the same level of familiarity with many of you, allow me to explain why I believe in sharing our stories.

We are all anonymous by nature, floating cyber identities that emulate who we want to be. We all got here somehow, and we all are used to being ignored. But with the glory of blogging, I'm starting to see a really deep look into other people's psyches. Many of you I've come to know as friends, trusting you for no other reason than our mutual respect. With no name or person to protect, we are free to talk about the things in our life that might compromise our image. Be that image that of a Tough Guy, Shy Nerd, Adventurer, or Arm-Chair Philosopher. We all get those urges to not brag, and not speak of the amazing experiences in our lives. I'm hoping I'm preaching to the choir hear, because I want to hear the same thoughts back.

By now many of you know a bit about me just from my writing subjects and style. So why not step that up a bit, while keeping the anonymous persona? I'm not going to give you my a/s/l in this post. The need for those kind of labels is diminished greatly when we only judge each other by their intellectual properties online. Instead, a few thing that I think stand out in my life. Deeds, traits, or mistakes, I offer them up to whoever wants to know Janus Kane a little more. And if the idea of knowing each other anonymously strikes you as something interesting... Why not make a post doing the same? Others might follow suit, and I know I for one would love to get to know many of you better. And perhaps you might even learn something about yourself. Maybe that's just me, but maybe you feel the same sense of community as I do. Without streets or houses or personal property, we're still neighbors on a daily basis. However, I do digress...

I was born in Maine to a relatively low income family. I was not destitute by any means, christmas would still bring presents, and we had working vehicles. But special breakfasts included pink oatmeal, the red food coloring made it look so cool to eat. We had big pots of cowboy stew, and other bulk leftover-only staples I'm sure many of you experienced. This followed me as I grew up, always a step lower than most of my peers. They had the pump-sneakers, that made you run just a little faster if you believed it hard enough. And I was still on the light up sneakers that we finally found at a yardsale. In no way was it a bad life, or an unhappy one, just simply a step below financially. And with a strong attachment to the poor class in my school, I forever labeled myself as a lower class citizen. That was my birth, and to this day I am proud of it. Even as I grew older, and I noticed how fine I could tune my actions and my body with nothing but practice, and the mysteries of women and popularity fell away like so much weight from my shoulders, I still kept a growing passion for the common rabble of our proletariat class. We were given no grand start, or a BMW for making it 16 years without dieing. There was never a maid or a cook, we were the kind of people that made it on their own, for the most part. As I read more and more about how the world worked, and how our history has unfolded, I began to set my sights higher. I wanted to change this world more than anything else in the world. Despite having no college course you can take for that dream, or certificate to help you along, I wanted that to be my life's work. I just wanted to give the people a chance at freedom.

And so I joined the army.

I do not consider myself a killer, and why I chose to be a Scout Sniper is well beyond me at this point. I had been in my parents basement, not wanting to go to college yet, and taking out the trash sucked. The army offered me something magical, a land where you had no rent, car, pda, or necktie. You were a grunt, and you traded you time as a soldier for college money and daily pay. Does this fit into my morals? No, but I shamelessly say it was an ends to a means, and has prepared me more for life than college or a career could have. It taught me that your body's quitting point has alot of false warnings you can ignore, and it taught me that working 18 hours a day didnt incur overtime pay. I learned how to be confident in myself, knowing that I could and would conquer any obstacle if I gave it all my will. I set one of the records for Ft. Knox's obstacle course in the second week of basic. The same course you've seen John Candy run in Stripes? Yeah, I tore that apart and busted my knee doing so.

That injury would eventually save my life.

In any combat troop, specially the spec ops areas like the scouts, sniper, rangers, etc... You train constantly. Every day, morning and evening exercise. All day its either work, or bullshitting with the boys. Teaching me the values of comradery, and the bonds that can be built. You march 3 miles to get to a shooting range at 7 am sharp across back texas territory, because the civilians dont like it when were late, and the civilians wait til top of the sky sun noon to show up. There are no tents there, just benches. Again, I digress. My point being I went through alot, and I learned that what I once thought was a bad situation, can always be worse. The quote "This too shall pass." Got me through alot. After a year of this hard training we were called up to Iraq for various missions that I needed a barrage of security clearances to hear about. That knee injury I had mentioned earlier, back in the beginning of basic? As it turns out, the constant training never let it heal and the cracks spread down my shin until my leg just snapped during a run. I was shipped back to Rear D, had some R+R, and they gave me my Honorable. Thus ended my military life.

What came next I can only describe as a rollercoaster through a monotonous hell. Civilian life was very different. People snitched, and lied, and spread rumors about each other. Bills had to be paid, my car needed to be inspected, fueled up, oiled, aired, filtered, and Science knows what else. But again, I adapted, living by that mantra of This Too Shall Pass, and knowing my situation was a good one in reality, despite the hardships. I was alive! You see, when I got out of the military, the Humvee I was supposed to be a gunner in hit a triple stack of anti tank mines. In fact, as the year went by, and I got used to living as a civilian, 90% of my unit needed new recruits. Nothing I'm going to go too deep into all that, never really have. That injury saved my life, and as crazy as the odds seemed, somehow I survived. Looking back, I can't begin to count all the times I almost died. Just a second or an inch away from my chain in this world being severed... A dead end. And I know I'm not the only one, this world is unforgiving. And it's because of that adversity that I hold the values of community and freedom so dearly. Our numbers are our strengths, a mass of unique minded and uniquely experienced individuals. The sheer power of that single evolutionary step has propelled us into this very blog. This very age. This land of chances and opportunities for everybody to take.  And as I traveled more and more, and met more cultures and groups of people... Stories I shall save for another day, I came to appreciate diversity for its strength in unifying those around us. Whether or not I agreed with them, I knew they came to that conclusion from years of experiences.

I'm drawing this out pretty long, and this is the first time I've written about myself like this. I hope some of you have made it this far, and perhaps will return the gesture. Take a step into the unknown. Open up for once, you're a new person everyday.

-JKane

Tuesday, October 5, 2010

The Fortress Files Part 2

Due to a special request from my loyal readers, I am going to write a shorter, but more refined guide to living in the more urban areas. Anybody looking for remote location survival will have to vote and wait ;) So without further ado, the next chapter in the Wasteland Chronicles..



The Fortress Files Part 2
Subways and Highrises, a Real Estate Guide

So you got caught in an apocalypse while living in a metropolis or city... Chances are times are about to get rough. If the attack is nuclear, you are already in danger of a blast zone. Preparation is key with a nuclear strike, and the first 2 seconds will mean the difference between life and death... You can survive close to an explosion with a thick wall, a thick jacket, and quick reactions. Drop down and hit the ground the MOMENT you see a dazzling bright flash of white light. Thats a nuke, without fail. Drop as flat as possible. DO NOT run to a far away coverage if its more than a step or two away. You should just dive into the best position possible. Tuck your head down and cover your ears and head with your arms and hands and jacket as much as possible. Face AWAY from the blast if there is no cover, or face the cover if its between you and the blast. If you are indoors, aim for a desk to hide under in fetal position, or the nearest wall.. I would highly suggest taking just 1 hour out of your day, and practicing dropping fast as fuck. I say this, because it will imbed it into your muscle memory, and cut reaction time down considerably. A moments hesitation is that much more skin missing, if your even that lucky. Now you have anywhere from a few seconds, to a minute to find better cover. DASH YOUR ASS OFF. If your able to move, then take that as a sign that you still have a chance. That was the shockwave and heatflash, whats up next is the blast itself. If your near a subway, a bank, or any beastly building or shelter... Get inside and hug that wall on the floor. You must act quick, and dont second guess yourself when you get your spot. The blast could come at any minute.

If you've survived this far, and you don't have an NBC suit (Nuclear Biological Chemical), I'd suggest finding a military base fast, or running to an army navy store. Lightweight radiation proof material, as strong as a lead vest, is called Demron. Otherwise find an NBC/MOP suit, itll be like a thick plasticy suit with ties on the wrists ankles and neck. A mask will increase your chances tenfold, I'd suggest getting one and keeping a canister nearby. If there is no nuke, you still have a badass smoking device. Eitherway, your dealing with nuclear fallout now. Dirty rain. Check out the map above for likely hit zones in the US, and air patterns for fallout. Keep your water sources to bottled sources, or purify the shit out of the water you find. Potassium Iodide pills will flush radiation from your water. Your new enemy is radiation.






If you havent been hit by a nuke, the city is still a very dangerorus yet rewarding zone to be stuck in. Assuming your city wasnt hit, your likely safe to ward yourself off. 60 miles is a solid estimate on how far you should be from a major nuke strike to stay still. Just keep your rads counted, Geiger Counters run for about 50 bucks, or free if the shopkeeper is dead or missing. Otherwise, if its a zombie infestation, space apocalypse, russians or whatever invading... You now have to prepare your new life in post apocalyptia. If it is a zombie blight, for some reason, DO NOT under ANY circumstances listen to the radio. Any congregation they tell the masses to go to will likely be exterminated. Either by infection, or by the military/government to control the situation. Look, just be smart, and don't trust people that make a profit off of you. I'm your conscience in the wasteland, I'm all you need.

Scouting

Scouting for Boys
You survived the initial destruction wave, zombie or otherwise, and now you need a home. The first thing you should look at is population. The subways would be an excellent place to start your own commune. Piping, wiring, hell, train motors are all excellent booster packs for your home. Rats are plentiful, and hydroponic systems aren't that far fetched. The tight tunnels are also easy to defend. Or, alternatively, if the population is great, and subways seem like an open invitation to attack while your setting up. You could always go up, and use man's phallic towers as your bastion. Stairways are an excellent way to limit and slow down traffic, while elevator shafts can be kept for later use, or scuttled to be used as an escape point downwards, or a lift point for big machines. The pulley is already up top, nice and easy. Blockade those stairs, throw aluminum empty cans in between the desks and whatnot you use. This will serve as an early warning device, should the barricade be shifted. Lock those stairways down, and get a doorway going for control of traffic. If you can get a bank door, your already set. Though most apartments in the city will have heavy iron gate doors, those are golden as well. I wouldn't suggest ground level at all, its too easily accessible and easy to spot. Another thing to think about, if your in a tall building, the roof is your home as well. Gardens, solar panels, the works.

Supplies

This may seem self explanatory, but you need to start thinking ahead in terms of supplies. Get a knife, this will save your life countless times. Close combat, freeing yourself from bonds or a tight situation, cliffhanging, basic handyman work... The knife will be your constant companion. If you weren't hit by the emp blast of a nuke, you might still have a working computer or ipod. You should have downloaded the Wikipedia page already. Its 2 gb, and the best space youll use. Next time you want to build a generator, don't cry to me because you didnt think ahead. Alternatively, books are great. When your ready to scavange for salvage and resources (gadget parts and living supplies), keep the following list in mind.

1-2 weeks of food, plan ahead in case of emergencies.
2-4 weeks of water. More important than food.
Purifiers. Brita filters are great. Army Navy or camping stores have more heavy duty purifiers.
Non Prescription Medication. Anti-Biotics especially, motrin, iv bags, whatever you can get your hands on
Rope, nuff said
Batteries, load up on them, keep them dry
Gasoline, stored properly
Flashlights, Lanterns, the like.
Alcohol, for cooking as well as rubbing alcohol for wounds.
Hydrogen peroxide is a must
Bandages and bandaids, non-stick and gauze and otherwise. Be a walking medic, its the wasteland.
Boots, you'll need a couple good pairs for sure.
Ammo, enough to kill 20 men, no questions asked. More is always a bonus. If your not easy to kill, your not a likely target.
Soap, toothpaste, and a toothbrush. Its like a slumber party, where all your friends are dead.
Extra socks... a couple dozen. Keep them dry, and keep them clean. Change them twice daily if possible. I cannot stress airing out your feet in boots, trust me when I say boot-rot is a terrible thing.


So the rest can be classified as gear. Backpack, clothing, etc... But the above will give you a good idea of what mentality to get into. You can't share anymore, unless you feel there's no other way. Anybody you meet should be willing to trade something, or become one of your clan. Giving out resources needlessly will kill you, and thus kill the benefactor. Its a terrible thought, but it needn't be heartless. Help out the sick and wounded, but dont fall into begging. Especially in the city, there are master beggars there. Especially lobbyists.

Project Aegis

Now I bet your wondering about protecting what you've claimed, huh? Well don't you worry, through a mix of deterrents, fortifications, and traps, your going to be safe as a bug. Bugs have to sleep however, which is why I stress teamwork. There is no lone soldier for long. Let's start off simple, razorwire up any crawlspaces. You can make razorwire with straightrazors, a soldering iron, and thick wire. Hell, soldering nails onto the ventduct floors will do the trick too. Hang some cans to make noise, but whatever you do... Protect your blindspots. Its the first thing they teach you in the army, and its an important lesson. IF you can rig explosives, so be it. Here's a nifty landmine trick you can make from a pushbutton switch, a 9v battery, a model rocket solar igniter, and an explosive of your choice.

Take the wires from the push button and connect one to the 9v battery, the other to the igniter. Now take some thin stereo wire or otherwise thin wire to connect the igniter to the other end of the 9v. You have your landmine trigger already made. Put this inside of a paintcan or whatever, taping them along the sides of the inside. Put the pushbutton up through a hole in the top of the can or whatever, gluing it into place. Now all you have to do is bury your igniter into the explosive. Below are a few quick ideas for explosive contents.

Line the bottom with SolidOx, a small amount of astrolite, or even a fertilizer bomb. Then fill the can with nails! Alternatively, fill it with napalm, or straight gasoline in a pouch. Any debris will do the trick as well. Or, fill the whole can up with astrolite and keep it away from your home :p

To make napalm, you simply need gasoline which you pour into a large bowl, and add in those melty styrofoam pellets. Mix it in slowly, without touching it or breathing it! It'll last for a long time after its mixed, and should be syrupy. Thats it.  For better napalm, reach out to my main man The Jolly Roger. http://www.skepticfiles.org/new/078doc.htm

Explosives are fun to experiment with if your safe about it. A lining of solidox on the bottom of a thick metal can makes a great claymore if you top it with BBs, shot, glass, or nails. Trip wires for that can be fashioned with a solar igniter once more. Just have it trip a lever that hits the button... Experiment, your a wastelander now!

But Daddy Kane, what about walls? Oh, right, I forgot you wanted to sleep tonight. If you need your walls reinforced, drywall is hollow and can be filled readily with cement. Most walls in fact are hollow in buildings. As well, piling up sandbags is a GREAT way to buffet outside force for doors or weak walls. Sandbagging is a long, but rewarding art. Teamwork is key. For additional security, rebar buried in the cement as you go, crosssectioned for strength. Windows are a great escape point, but also great for climbing up to the next floor which could be completely shut off from traffic. A rope access saferoom, impossible to follow without being completely vulnerable to your attacks. With a floor that can be plated, sandbagged, and peepholed for easy access to intruders with your various poisons, explosives, and longarms.

Safety in Numbers

Just a quick reminder, community will keep you going. Mutual respect and understanding on one's situation will help you get along with the good natured folk left in this new world. Build something worthwhile, and band together. Just a bit of personal advice from your old friend Janus Kane. I've been travelling the lands for most of my life, and I've made it a point to learn something wherever I go. Micro Expressions WILL save you when dealing with people. We all make these tiny expressions called Micro Expressions, right before we show our intended emotions. And they are exactly the same in EVERY human, minusing stroke victims and the faceless. They reveal how we really feel when we say something or react to something. The vast majority of the time, people lie about their feelings. We may not mean to, or it may be 'harmless', but its important to know when people are feeding you bullshit. Please, my friends, learn a basic science of interacting with other people. Your blind until you do.

http://www.ehow.com/how_5311172_detect-micro-expressions.html

That should do you, mates. It may not be a fallout shelter, but I'm willing to bet you can make it better with some elbow grease and motivation. I've got faith in you my friends, and expect to meet a great many of you in the future. If you don't have a community living under you by then, your always welcome in mine.

Adapt and Overcome, The Precepts of Life
-JKane

Monday, October 4, 2010

The Fortress Files Part 1

The Fortress Files Part 1
Evading Evasion

Once again, you find yourself at the age old question of the apocalypse. Do you keep moving, or do you find shelter? You've been scavaging the wasteland for days now, and you've made quite the lucrative start. A couple small arms, some explosives and traps, and a beginner's assassin set. All of which you McGuyver'd out of common trash and household objects.  McGuyver, by the way, did the voice of the Brotherhood of Steel General in Fallout 2. Now that I've got you thinking about that, let me encroach upon the delicate subject of friends. You can't survive here alone for very long. And if you did, I'm pretty sure we both know you'd be questioning the point of that after too long. We're going to have to start thinking about making a stable base of operations. And the nomad life just isn't for us, too much hit or miss. We can make a nomad hub.

I'd suggest going to GrooveShark.com, making a free acount, and searching for the Arcanum soundtrack from this point forward. At least while reading the Wasteland Chronicles. Which these instructionals shall hence forth be known. Now that we've set the mood, lets talk about location. We're going to discuss, briefly, three main locations. Urban, Rural, and Remote. Each of these will require their own unique flair, but we'll run through the basics real quick.

Urban
Urban zones are great for easy salvage, high resource rate (especially early on), and higher recruit population. They do however make up for those plush areas by an over abundance of everything bad in your life. Be it zomification, ragification, or nukification, theres going to be some kind of opposition out there thats going to want the plush resource environs. Subways add a unique twist to this environment, as do tall buildings. Giving the terrain a much more 3d aspect in terms of tactical placements. Remnant Government cells might also be a cause for concern, depending on your area. But they might also be a boon for their military gear and vehicles. They're like gold in a wastelander's eyes. Agriculture possible on rooftops, central parks, etc...


Rural
Rural areas are less compact than the urban zones, but still offer a rich amount of salvage and resource harvest. The population will be more spread out, but centers of commerce might be feasible within the denser zones, or between several loose zones. The chance of a more wild attack is present here, though hostile population will at least be smaller in number. Depending on your level of commitment to your branching abilities, you might want to start small, and work big. The room for agricultural growth is considerably larger than the urban zones.


Remote
Remote areas can be the safest in some regards, if you're going for the smaller community. Though with proper management, it can be a much larger establishment. Through proper leadership, you could really craft a society in any area. The remote location will offer you the least salvage. Having almost no man-crafted zones, you'd be dealing with raw resources and natural environment. Which is fine too, but will back crafting the more high tech inventions more time and energy consuming. In fact, time/energy management will be crucial in the remote areas at first. So while being safe, getting a stable living situation will be more difficult.


Now, depending on the area you decide to settle in, you'll have to stress over the three main areas of concern differently. Upkeep, Defense, and Shelter. Upkeep is self explanatory, covering the realms of food, water, clothing, medication. Defense encompasses your ability to withstand direct attack, the walls, weapons, traps, height advantages, whatever. While the Shelter exhibits all the creature comfort we call home. That is, running water,  sun and wind shielding, bedding, toiletries, electricity, the whole works. Lets assume you didn't need to know about foraging and fishing judging from the polls, so we can assume you have Upkeep mostly in control. Let's instead worry about the place we call home.

High ground will offer you many advantages in line of sight and defensive measures, but tends to leave you trapped should all fail. One could feasible go within the ground for all around protection, but still leaves your feeling trapped. Not to say these aren't valid tactics, but be sure to keep an escape route or three in mind. Three well trapped routes. You could also go the European way and just build your own walls. You will then have to deal with open surroundings however, especially during the building process. Keep in mind, you now have to maintain your energy every day with foraging in some way until you get a home. Keep all of these things in mind. And remain confident, you're one step along the way to having your own town. Lets move into the rural zone, in some towns. Lets wander into a Cabella's, shall we? Replace with Wal-Mart, Cotco, or other super store.


Fortification
What you need are metal grates and ironbar gate doors, solder them together. Make a gateway of some kind, this article is not about making gates. Behind this gate, were going to need a gauntlet. That is to say, a thin path along one wall they must cross through to slow them down, and then a second gate. Next to the thin path, you can have a guard station, or whatever. Its a universal floodgate, and its needed to secure a building. If your ballsy, bank doors are heavy to keep the poor out. The actual dimensions are up to the builder and entrance in question, so I'll keep this broad. We're choosing a floodgate method, ebcause the flood can be watched and controlled by the siderooms, or ceiling walkways. This also allows us to center the traffic in and out of our stronghold. Make no mistake, this is not a tutorial for the soloist today. Teamwork and cooperation can go a long way to making a stable, happy home.  We'll get into the main entrances later, let's first talk about closing up holes in your walls.

Ventilation shafts should be stuffed with razorwire if you can find it. It will stop intruders deadon, either from the death part, or from clogging the crawlable spaces. Make sure to bar those windows with cement and rebar, the parking lot will be a wealth of metal sign posts, parking lot bumper rebar, everything you need. Cement can be found in the janitor's room or boiler room generally. Otherwise, hope you're at a costco. Side entrances should be heavily bunkered under, until you have enough to watch more than one entrance. Be sure to check these weak spots periodically, unless your drowning it in cement. Sewer access is a concern, but also a boon. Its tough to get up through the holes if they're covered up, and make a hand escape. You could also wire a closed circuit surveillance or periscope system, to ensure its safe should you need a quick escape. It wouldn't be a bad idea to even make the immediate underground area apart of your fortress.

Some rookie mistakes when it comes to a stronghold include moisture control, food preservation, sterility, and electricity conservation. Anything that once cost money, now costs time. Keep that in mind as you balance new and more into your ecosystem. Keep your food in a dry place, cool if possible. Stick to canned foods and non-perishables. Mind bagged foods, especially potatoes. Anything that is perishable you should keep in a short term storage. While a long term larder could be kept for the bulk storables. A good reference site can be found here.

http://www.theemergencylady.com/longterm_food_storage_000978.html

Refrigeration is very difficult, and honestly besides the old plastic bag in the waterfall trick, its kinda tough to jerry rig. Nothing I could post here short of schematics. So stick to what you got, and treasure every fridge you find!

The roof is a great access to sunlight if you want to do a topside garden. As wel as a fine place for watch towers, and water collectors. Solar panels would make a lovely ornament to complement your own piece of land. But the roof is also an access point. Razor wire those edges, and grease up and handholds within 3 or 4 feet of the top. I could scale a cabellas if I needed to, I'm guessing a really angry and hungry raider could too. If you can get your hands on some motion sensors, theyre battery operated often and can give you an early warning with a light switch. If you haven't seen Evil Dead yet, you should really start carrying a Chemistry and Electronics textbook in your car at all times. Knowledge is power.

Now, lets talk about traps. Just for the entrance, we'll save the rest for the Snares and Traps section. Its quite large. If you can get your hands on some super soakers, you can fill those up with gasoline or something flammable. You can spray them down as a warning, allowing matches to be dropped if needed, or attach a lighter to the front of the soaker and call it even. Just be sure to seal up the supersoaker with gas-proof epoxy, found in marine stores, motorcycle stores, or... Cabella's. Sporting Goods are just great.


Show it who the wasteland king really is.
For more barricade fun, you can make some cattle prods. Its even easy! Get a disposable camera, electric tape, and copper wire. All of which should be at cabellas, even if you gotta strip a speaker wire down. The boiler room/janitors closet should be a goldmine at a place that big, so much wire.  Take it all apart and remove the circuit board itself. Connect the battery back to the circuit board, and wrap everything except for the two capacitor contact points in something electric proof... Like the electric tape. Make sure you get the right polarities, my friends. Now, when you hold down the button, youll hear it whine a bit, getting louder. Thats the capacitor charging. Don't do that, you still have to attach wire leads from the capacitor contact points, leading up whatever stick or tool your making into your prod. At the end, secure and separate the tips. Making sure to wrap the wires down tight, so they never touch. That should drop their legs out pretty quick. For a cool grenade version of the same camera trick, check out instructables.com sometime.
Next to the black knob, those two points are Contact Points.
The big white button in the middle is the Button.

http://www.instructables.com/id/Taser-Grenades/

In my recent weeks of blogging, while looking for images for my posts, I've been directed to them on multiple occasions. Thought I'd share the wealth of information with my comrades, and continue to dish it out daily from my own experiences.


For those of you that didn't want a community guide, here are some neat tricks to making a temporary shelter in a wooded area. There are alot fo you that don't live near big cities or Cabella's, and I wouldn't want you left out in the dirt... Not without these tricks at least.

Shelter before Fire. Fire is easy, especially with a lighter. Be prepared, make survival that much easier. So concentrate first on getting a place to cover your head. Digging a hole is the first option. This conserves heat during night time, and keeps you cool during the day. Make a low room and over it with foliage. This will prevent a silhouette effect, or profile effect on the horizon. It's best to blend with the environment, so please keep that in mind. Pits can also be used to collect water, either a very deep pit for a well. Or, you could always make a wider pit about 5 feet deep, and stretch a watertight tarp over it at four corners. Just a few inches about the surface of the pit. This will collect the ground moisture, and morning dew, as well as any rainwater that comes in. This will be more noticable, but it can also  be a great place to store perishables for a short period of time. Just keep it out of direct sunlight.

Build near a stream. This will provide you with fish and other river creatures, small mammals and deer will drink nearby, water source, and a valid place to get electricity. Falling water is like nature's slave labor, use what you've got, its free and plentiful. If you can score hickory bark, you can boil it down for it's salt. OR just get salt, and attract deer. Another great natural resource for bone weapons, fish hooks, meat, sinew ties and rope. Mashed brain can be used with salt to cure and tan hides... Oh my friends, we have much to go into if rural is your choice. Should this be your thing, vote for the Foraging and Trapping section. I went into a bit of a tangent, so let me digress. Stay sharp, stay in shape. Theres no point in having a stronghold if you have nobody to hold with, so keep that black band on your arm brothers, I'll see you on the horizon in our next installation of Wasteland Chronicles!

-JKane

Sunday, October 3, 2010

For my Loyal Followers, and Lovers (You know who you are...)

I really hope you guys know how much I put into this whole section of our online world. Your input has excelled my motivation both here but also in life ten fold. I was promoted at work and scored an entire contract for my company. I signed up for college, after  much deliberation and putting it off for a year or so. I'm working out again, trying to get back the 20+ lbs of muscle I've lost since the army. Thank you all, you've done so much for me whether you meant to or not.

I thought you should be aware of the implications of kindness and support. How much it can effect those around you. So next time it seems like it isn't worth smiling at a stranger whose having a terrible night on the side of the highway with a busted tire, a nagging wife (whose legs just won't stop until her tiny shorts),  and the rain coming down hard... Stop on by, hope its not an ambush to get your boots, and show them people are all in this together.

On that note, you all (except one of you) voted for me to post some of my drawings... I'm a bit shocked at the decisive vote, but I also won't complain! As well, I'm terribly sorry for the day off I took, but what with the promotion, and the sleepless past 2 weeks, i decided it was worth it, and you would forgive me ;)

Now, as to the pictures, I do commissions and so forth for various online games. People who want their characters drawn for some sort of real-life return to the years they spent playing the same game. Mutefox, there are a couple you might enjoy especially :) They're ALL taken with various digital cameras, and they're all done with a mechanical pencil. I've been drawing for a almost 2 decades, so no promises that these pictures are anywhere close in timeline. But, despite that, I hope you enjoy them, and perhaps this will give you a little insight about who this Janus Kane character is. Without further ado, here they are. And thank you again my friends.







With all my love,
JKane

Friday, October 1, 2010

Improvised Weapons, Part Three: The Saga Continues

First off, thank you all for helping my friend out, he really appreciates it. I know how hard it is to be new to the blogger world, and I think we all want everybody to feel welcome and at ease. Back to the post, clearly improvised weapons won by a longshot. So, as promised, I'll include a few of the heavier explosive. But keeping in touch with the roots of this saga, only those that could be made with materials found in a household or apocalyptic setting. Before attempting anything, check with the local and federal laws. And don't actually do anything you read here. Of course. Etc. So without further ado...

Improvised Weapons, Part 3
The Saboteur's Handbook

 So you've come this far my friends, a week alone in the wastelands. You have a choice of finding safety, food, friends, or high explosives. I needn't tell you which one you choose, you head towards the nearest glassblower factory.

Astrolite 
Kicking in the door, you begin to quickly scavenge the place as quietly as you can. Not wishing to attract unwanted attention when your so very alone, hungry, homeless but otherwise well equipped. There she blows... Anhydrous Hydrazine. You see, you blow glass as a hobby, and you used it to remove dimness from the glass. It also happens to be used in the most powerful explosive next to nukes, they say. And by a far shot, I might add. Blows dynamite out of the water. A little product called Astrolite G. Hence why its such a very hard chemical to get ahold of. Sneaking out the backdoor, you find a garden shed about a block down. Snagging a couple bottles of miracle grow for it's ammonium nitrate. Closing the shed door, you lay the containers onto a work table. Which just so happens to have a flat scale. And another container to pour all this into. What an wonderful shed you've stumbled into! You measure and mix 2 parts ammonium nitrate and 1 part hydrazine. You do this slowly, band in a much bigger container, because it bubbles and vapors so much. You dont want it to spill over. You do the mixing part outside, and stand upwind, on account of the poisonous ammonia fumes. While you slowly stir the mixture for another five minutes after its poured in, you fish an electronic or mechanical detonator cap out of the shack's wonderous tool box of oddly convenient items.

What you have is Astrolite-G, and can is a liquid explosive only bested by nukes in blast strength. Twice as powerful as dynamite. Incredibly safe to handle and make, just avoid flames at all costs. And here's the crazy part, you can pour and soak it INTO the ground, and it will remiain able to detonate up to 4 days with the cap. Spectacular stuff. Add 20% of the Ammonia Nitrate's weight in aluminum powder, and you've got Astrolite-A. The strongest in the family, and can be detonated with a compound detonator. A straight detonator can be sued if it is number 8 in strength, but the detonation wont be as large.


Solidox


Check out a plumbing and heating supply store, or a department store with that department. You know, whilst you cruise the wasteland. While your there, why not pick up some SolidOx? It comes in boxes of 6-10 gray sticks, and its solid oxygen. It's most active ingredient is potassium chlorate. Now, if your in california this wont be tough, but you need to find a herb shop and get a mortal and pestle. The poor mans tool to building bigger booms.  Grind up a stick slowly, and thoroughly. AVOIDING FLAMES, FRICTION, OR HEAT. Seriously, grind it up and keep your hands in some thick loose gloves for easy removal. Just in case, but itll be alright if your just careful. Very very careful, hence why you wait for a survival situation. Now, weight that powder and mix in its own weight in pure sugar, or pure glucose if you can find it. You now made a solidox explosive, and can be poured into whatever form you want.


Fertilizer Bomb



This is getting fun, right? If you haven't blown your hand off yet, at least.  The next one is just as easy as the above. Get some chemical fertilizer from your magic shed, and some diesel fuel. Scavenge up some cotton balls, and a newspaper. You put the fertilizer on the newspaper, make it into a pouch like shape, and put the cotton balls on top of the fertilizer. Orcho or Green Thumb work well. Then pour diesel over the cotton balls. Get a long, long fuse, and light it. And now run despite how long the fuse is, its going to have a 500 square foot radius of carnal, hellfire destruction. I kid you not, run like hell. And please, dont do any of this.


Thermite

Thermite slices on 9/11's support pillars
it goes through anything
I had to dig into my old books for this one, but its called a DC converter, and its on model trains sets. Seperate the wires and strip them down. This shed is looking more and more like an alchemist's guild by the moment. Next, add salt to a jar of water. One or two tablespoons should do the trick. Insert the wires into your newly conductive water, and wait a few minutes to see which one bubbles alot. Thats your positive, tie a nail to that and pop it in the jar, then dip the negative end in. IF the nail is on the negative, youll make rust acid instead. Which is good, but not for this. You need iron oxide, aka rust. Come back in the morning to scrape off your rust harvest, letting it soak in the jar at the bottom. When you have a large quantity, pour out the water and let it dry in the sun for a day. Grind that up in your mortar and pestle until its a fine dust, the kind of dust you wouldn't take out on a friday night to make a few life long regrets. Well... If you were to, for some reason, mix an 8:3 grams ratio of rust to aluminum shavings. They can be filed off of aluminum by hand, or found in stores.

Now all you have to do is light it... Thats the tricky part. Thermite will be a great companion otherwise. The stuff will melt through carbon steel, and straight through an engine block or heavy lock... Hell, it'll melt through all of the above, and the concrete beneath it. You'll need a magnesium strip to get a flame hot enough to ignite this super-product. Just stick a strip in, light, and stand far back.


After Thoughts
That should do you, mates. Just a few final thoughts on the subject, while you have me glued to this tiny netbook, shelling out daily tools to my loyal friends and comrades. I cannot stress enough, that this is not to be taken lightly. Explosives are dangerous as hell, and I'd suggest reading up on every step with the power of google. It's your hand/arm/left side of your body on the line, not mine. And more importantly, you really shouldnt do this unless it is necessary for survival, im pretty sure there are laws against making heavy explosive in your home.

Thank you everybody for the amazing support these past 2 weeks. I've been busy as you all know, getting my website up for a project me and some friends have been working on for the past bit. And then the whole RL bit... just hectic. But I try hard to update daily for you my friends, and your indepth comments mean so much. I read every word you post in my own way of saying thanks, and tell you just how your post affected me. You guys have been amazing, and this is only the beginning for me, mates. I hope you enjoyed this post as much as I did, despite the slight lack of my typical humor and stream of consciousness writing. I felt clearer steps were important in this tutorial ;) If you are following my side project website, then you might like to know I got the .com and am working on a new and sleeker layout. :) Hope to see you all soon, and hear from your minds.

Join us next time, for making Sniper Rifles, Cannons, Scopes, and other PVC Masterpieces.
-JKane

Thursday, September 30, 2010

The Female Mind: A User Manual

We had an enourmous support with polls this time around, mates. Thank you all for chipping in and making my blog that much more lovely. Alot of you leave comments that touch me and make me smile, in ways most countries would find distasteful, if not illegal in certain regions. But probably not the Vatican. (B'Dum-CHSSSH) That was a pedophile joke, followed by a sound effect. I had some complaints about my references being vague, so I'm going to try to make this post a bit easier to understand.

But what about the ladies, Daddy Kane? You promised us 72 virgins!

To be clear, that's bollocks. You've clearly been misinterpreting my words, or mistaking them for another book that you've read. I cannot get you 72 virgins, a pound of hash, or immortality in heaven. I can't help you find nirvana for any longer than 5-30 seconds depending on your use of Tantra. I can't even guarantee one virgin, without breaking a few laws, and to be perfectly honest... It would be morally apprehensible of this humble teacher of tidbits to do so. The fact that you ask makes me more than a little leery of your intent. You're suspect...





The Female Mind
A User Manual by Janus Kane

    The first thing you'll have to understand, or at least take with a grain of salt, is that all humans think alike to a certain degree. As well, all humans react alike to a certain degree, even down to how they flirt and smile. Human tribes who to this day have had limited contact with civilization, or only recent contact, still have the same mating habits and facial expressions. Every one of us shares a smile, a frown, a shocked look of disgust. We all twitch the same exact muscle groups exactly to snap-second show a facial spasm, thus conveying our stance to those around us . Why is this important, you may ask... Outloud, and seemingly in vain. By yourself. Well that's exactly why its important. Understand that we can't consciously think to smile or show dread fast enough to react to whatever is happening, and still maintain logical thought and fair control over your motor reflexes. There is alot going on in that brain of yours, check out my early blog on the subject. And because we all respond the same, you can (and probably already do in a few areas) predict and plan for reactions from people. All I'm doing here, is giving you some basics in particular with the female mind, in regards to dropping off your carry-on luggage in her rear compartment. Ladies, maybe you just want to experiment, or continue the experiments from the blurry days in college. Maybe you even just want a platonic relationship with a female, and simply dream of more. Perhaps let her vent for hours about her shitty drunk boyfriend who beats her, but she still loves him because he's really a good guy. And you might even push down the urge to remind her even good guys aren't worth the steel-toe to her ribs, because that's what friends do.

    Whatever your reasons, you have come to the right place. you don't have to be a genius, or Don fucking Juan himself to pull in the ladies. It would help if you were a genius, and help even more if you had any social skills up to this point. But for those of you who don't, worry not, these steps are easy to follow. You just need to kick yourself in the ass a bit to get into what I like to call Hero Mode?

Question One, what is Hero Time? Hero Time is not something I would say outloud, but being an anonymous figure here, I don't mind letting you into the rather child-like enthusiasm that is my internal monologue. Hero Time is when a moment in your life travels down the timeline towards your static location in time. (Visualize that... You also learned the basics of Warp Technology, in development now.) This moment has a fight or flight choice, usually quite simple. Do you jump off the waterfall? Do you man up, pull her into a savage kiss despite not getting to the hand holding stage yet, or all the way into the movie theater. Do you unzip your pants in front of a hot chicks boyfriend, stare him down, and urinate on his shoes to express your Alpha Male status. These are all examples of Hero Time that I've run into, and there are alot more. Maybe, if you've been good, you've noticed the internal arguments you have with yourself. Yes, everybody does that. We all trade rationalizations too, you smokers probably know what I'm talking about the best. That voice that's telling you to turn away from the cliff, the voice that flashes images of you inexplicably falling or slipping or losing your balance on the cliff... That's fear. Say hello, this might be the first time you've confronted him fully.

Fear drives us, and keeps us relatively safe, or at the least sheltered. But what fear doesn't do is craft leaders, adventurers, men of science and industry and circumnavigation. It doesn't make heroes. It doesn't make the Alpha Male, and it doesn't save your life in crunch time. Its a preventative measure. If you understand this, you'll begin to see uses for fear. And if preventing yourself from talking to girls is your goal, then by all means, stop reading, and pay fear some mind. Because fear is right, your probably going to get rejected. Judged, chided, ridiculed, berated, maybe even blown. Yeah, you could get blown. I said it. But all of those things, minus the oral sex, won't hurt you in the least. Bracers could cause a complication in the latter. As well as epilepsy.

Step One
Be Confident

Many people go into a situation thinking what could go wrong, how they can avoid that, what if this happens, etc... Many people strike out and crawl home to cry, thinking they aren't worth shit. And some people aren't worth shit, depending on their health and the areas inflation rate of shit.  But you aren't one of those guys, those guys don't exist to you. Your a fucking god of your own world, and nobody can tell you otherwise. People enter your world, not the other way around my friends. Not to say you shouldn't be respectful of the other Gods, but your the alpha God. You control this amazing machine that is your body and are able to excel in any area you choose to repeat over and over and over again.

You see, people respond to confidence, yourself not witheld from that group. Whether or not we like it, we all respond to key factors about somebody. An unpleasant frown, a tear brewing, a hardened brow. We respond to that, because our brain i keyed to, its why we make the expressions in the first place. Perhaps you can see the wisdom in knowing how your brain works now, the possibilities it unlocks are endless. Females in particular, in this culture especially (america for me, but it seems very much universal) respond to dominance. This can be the steel toed dominance if played right, or the more acceptable and harder to master way of the confident nice guy.

So try this, go up to a girl in a casual setting, like a bookstore or coffee shop. She should look something like this, but lonelier. Avoid bars, clubs, anywhere you wouldn't want to meet your girl. Don't think about how easy it'd be, aim for your own areas. And if clubbing is your area, I really can't help you. Go up to her and ask her about something shes doing, connect with her immediately. Plant the seed. If she has a book, know something about it and mention you had just read it. Even if its Dean Koontz. Make eye contact, smile naturally, she isn't judging you. In fact, you are judging her. Try it with strangers, stare them down with a confident smile, watch how they react. Do this, introduce yourself, make that personal, friendly connection that tells her your the only one in the room she knows.

Excuse yourself, because you suddenly have to go somewhere, or you should really sit down on account of the hot beverage you have in your hand. She probaly won't ask for you to join her, but if she does go for it and good luck, skip to step three. But more than likely...

Walk away. Always end the engagement, though not in a rude way. This is a guide for nice guys.

Step Two
The Face

At this point, your already shame free. You made a casual, noncommital entrance, and then sat nearby to enjoy your caramel mocha orange soy frappachino in a vente cup. Or in a generic styrofoam cup and crusty bagel for all you narcotics anonymous types. She'll come to you if she likes you or if shes bored, or curious. Shes probably one of the three, so make sure to look up as if you didnt know that.

It works like this, mates. Women have had a long, long history of having men prove themselves for their affection. You've probably notice how they date assholes when theyre younger, right? Assholes are confident, they also piss alot of people off. They shit all over everything, and chicks dig it. But not you my faithful friends, not you. You're confident because you know it's not the end of the world... It is in fact not a big deal at all. She'll melt away into the hazy purple gray that masks time and space away when your not holding its attention. Just another fish in the pond, no matter how thick dat ass was.

Act like it's not that big of a deal, alot for you get nervous, I'd wager a guess. It's just not necessary. Take this advice, practice on strangers somewhere where you wont be known. Make a persona  that you want to be, the perfect image of yourself. Throw in anything you want, change anything you want. Its a fictional, fantasy character. Now go out and be that person, really step into his habits. You'll find immediately that people will respond differently, and they will respond to your character, rather than you. You just figured out that people are programmed. To be true what your doing now is programming yourself. Our brains work extremely well with repetition, if you do it long enough, you become it. Accents can be learned, mannerisms can be picked up.

Excuse me, Mr. Kane? I know you hate interruptions, but wouldn't that be dishonest? No, your persona is a conflagration of past events hitting you and some genetic dispositions. But the vast majority is the world hitting you with situations you have to adapt and learn from. If you make that a part of your life, you will literally become that person. Make it a game, hell, there are games called Larping if you can stomach the 500 lbs fireball slinging guy in every crowd. Try it out on here, your anonymous anyway. But for Kane's sake, just practice it. That alone will change your life.

Step Three
The Hook

Females love sex. If they don't, they probably aren't your thing. But most do, and most think about it constantly. Most want your dick before you even walk up to them providing you put any effort into maintaining your body, hygiene, appearance... Unless you have an accent. You may sacrifice two of those three attributes if you have an accent.

Don't believe me? Check out this rather convincing pictorial to the left, or this link below.
http://www.answerbag.com/q_view/114186
The power of world wide information.

Keep that in mind, because now you hold the key. As I said earlier, they are very much used to being pursued  and having men prove themselves. So what we do, the confident nice guys, is use the same trick. Have a normal conversation with the girl, shes just a girl. In fact, think about other girls while you talk to her, maybe even glance at a few in the overpriced coffee joint you chose, because you like the idea of tainting the privileged with your lower class filth.  Talk about her, let her talk about you... Though she will likely talk about herself. Now, your interested, but once again, noncommittal. There's a very large ass by the counter, and some heaving sweater puppies doing toe touch stretches just outside the window. Let me stress, there are alot of options. She's entering your Domain.

Look, I hope you've met people, ask her about what she does, college the same basic shit you'd want people to know about you. College is good because you can find something to relate to there almost every time. Oh yeah, what classes? The Study of Indigenous Bottomfeeding Fish in the Atlantic Coasts? I was thinking about taking that course too, how are you liking it? The simple fact is, my friend, is that people like to talk about themselves. Because we all want to be immortal somehow. Or whatever your personal belief is, it's true regardless. Don't take my word for it, read a book!

Step Four
The Blow Jay

Now that you've successfully spoken to a girl without creaming your pants, or soiling them in public it's time to move onto the next stage. Now, again, keep in mind. All these steps should be taken with a bit of judgement depending on the girl your talking to. Remember, you are whoever you say you are, adapt and overcome. This girl likes you, it's very obvious because she is still talking to you. Her eyes have glanced at your crotch no less than 3 times a minute, go ahead and check that out for yourselves too. She wants you to whip that manmeat out so fast, it'll blow HER away. Cheesy joke, but it goes with the pic. Shes hot, bothered, and is repressed through social values to keep all that to her mysterious, thick hipped self. But right back at her, right? Offer to go somewhere, or to 'hang out at your place'. Maybe she'll say yes... And based on todays standards with premarital sex, she probably will if you haven't blown it yet. But if she doesn't, no worries, you never have to see her again unless your looking for the kind of girl who doesn't felate dudes she just met that day. Because she'll felate them all, you're a god, but not the only one ;)

When your at your place or somewhere allowing privacy, it's crunch time. Remember your practice, and saty confident. At this point, understand, she has followed you to a private location to continue the 'conversation'. This is the mating game, and its going exactly as planned. Please notice, throughout this whole process, you have the opportunity to see that she WANTS to talk to you. people like to be known, and appreciated by somebody they respect. And you can't respect something that worships you. So stay confident, and put that arm around her the moment you sit down next to her on the couch with a movie on, or whatever your down for. Your already on the final stretch, home base is right ahead, and it's in the glorious shape or an otherwise talking mouth. It's your job to fix that, in a respectful way.

As a side note, on the subject of respect, realize she's putting your penis in her mouth for an elongated period of time. This is a pretty big step if you think about it, and deserves a few words of appreciation, moans, slaps on the ass, and otherwise good natured ways of saying "Don't stop, I'm so goddam lonely." You can cry yourself to sleep another night, tonight, she dines on dick.

But Janus... That doesn't seem very nice. Well, neither does shoving a guys face into her pussy, an open wound thats hopefully well kept. In fact, nothing about sex is pretty if you think about it. That is in fact, why sex is so wonderful. Its that time when you can bask in those natural healthy chemicals that make all that not matter, and allow you to fully release. Very good for stress relief, and blue balls. So don't be afraid to get a little kinky, chances are she'll like it and like you more. If not, you really don't need to see her again anyway, if she didn't appreciate you. I mean... you already got the BJ.



For anybody looking for some simple tips, rather than a lifestyle change, I'll number them below so you can get some hoodrat bitches. Go to the club, you filthy bastard.

1. Eye contact, confident smile, approach like you know she wants you... Just don't grin all creepy like, its what mirrors are for.
2. Get in close, when your skin touches for more than a few seconds around 30 of them, you trade chemicals that last for quite some time. Get in close and grind dance, your already in the clear. In my experience, chicks grind on almost anybody at a club. They're there for a reason, and it's not to enjoy the festive environment. Unless your talking about the festive bathroom stalls with an anonymous stranger.
3. Don't be afraid, just go for it. If your not willing to make a solid change in your personality, your likely doomed to a life of monotony anyway. You aren't going to go anywhere. But worry not, you can make up for it in sheer repetition. 1 out of 4 girls will sleep with you if you ask, thats an average, not a set number for every group of people. Be logical, don't go to church... Probably.
4.Wear a condom. Seriously, your in a fucking club. Nobody wants anything you can pick up from a club. Be it an STD, alimony payment, or a stab wound... It's always good to have a condom. (See my next chapter on Improvised Weapons for more info on using a condom to thwart an attacker)

I hope all this helped mates, give me some feedback on anything more specific you'd like me to go into. Throw your own tips on here, alot of people could use them. Leave no brother behind.

A word for my female readers. I am not a sexist, and would be more than willing to write an equally one sided view from the woman's perspective. This is a guide for frustrated men or curious women, I'm a sarcastic guy. Take no offense, your my brothers too, sisters.

Actually a pretty nice guy,
-JKane