Tuesday, September 28, 2010

Improvised Weapons, Part Deux

For the record, 'How to Properly Empty your Bowels' was just one vote short of becoming a merged topic with 'Improvised Weapons'. Which would get messy. Be glad I didn't use my swing vote.

Improvised Weapons, Part Deux
A survival guide by Janus Kane

Well mates, by another swing of popular demand, you want to be ready for the coming apocalypse. Or bring it about... Which I can't publicly condone. Last we left off, you had a very carefully held shotgun shell grenade in one hand, and a wrist mounted crossbow with no less than a bag full of darts.On your chest crossed belt, you keep your vial of nicotine. With a rugged face, and hardened eyes, you press onwards out of the shattered cityscape. Hark, there in the distance... Smoke rising from the woods. It sounds like a small group of men. This situation could get hostile, and your still limited.

No worries, you passed by a fabric store on the way. Quickly, you backtrack, keeping to the back alleys and rooftops when available. Making sure to avoid any people for the time being. You creep through the roof ventilation system, and enter the abandonded store.

Ghillie Suite


1.Grab yourself some camo pants and blouse as a base, or coveralls. Its really up to you, i prefer the maneuverability of the two piece, personally.
2.snag up a bunch of burlap and dye the sheets from dark green, to medium green (depending on terrain and season, use your best judgement with colors. You're a warrior now, and wits are your life.)
3.Cut the burlap into varying strips  two to three inches in width, and half a foot, to a foot in length. Mix them up for a good, unmatching mix.
4.I' told you can just staple or sew them to the base clothing, but I'm adding three more steps.
5.The front of your pants you coat with hot glue, especially the knees. Make sure it seeps into the fabric. Now repeat that step with the front of the jacket. This is for crawling, which youll do alot of.
6.Get some loose and thin netting, about an inch wide for the holes. Sew that onto the entire back of the jacket and pants. Sew it on a little taut, and add sewing to the center and such for added stability. Wrap your arms in it now.
7.Tie the burlap strips onto the netting in a thick, overlapping, disorganized manner. You want to break apart the V silhouette underneath your arms, between your legs, knees, next to your neck, etc... You've got tons of Vs on you and they all give you away.
8. For added effect, do the same with a Boonie Hat. And wrap your firearm in the netting and burlap, making sure your scope is free from blockage. That is, if you have a firearm or scope... Which you dont.

Slowly, you stalk out of the city and towards the forestline, dropping down and crawling slowly. Making sure to do the following.

1.Keep your silhoutte away from the horizon, meaning never stand or crawl on a hilltop or ridge crest. You don't want sky or brightness behind you. If you do, the camouflage isn't registered, and your perceived as a human silhouette.
2.smear dark natural colors along your face, darker colors over the high points of your face(cheekbones, jawbone, eyebrow ridge, top of forehead), and lighter colors on the sunken in parts of the face (cheeks, eyes, chin divit,above the eyebrow ridge) You can experiment, but you want your facial features to be broken up by false shadows and stripes and blotches. Tiger strips work well too, but be sure to not make lines, smear the stripes in. The edges should blend a bit. For best effect, use waterproof camo paint at the army navy store. Make sure to get the back of the neck, ears, etc... Anything skin. Avoid straight lines like  <-- this guy, unless you're too goddam badass. But try to apply various lengths and styles of strokes based on the environment, you want to blend and break up.


3.Stay still. Or creep like molasses uphill.Seriously, ants should think you are food. The human eye naturally tracks movement.
4.Keep your form low, and practice crawling with a longarm if you have one, it's tough to lowcrawl and hold a firearm.

Now that you're invisible, you crawl through the high foliage, coming upon the small clearing where three armed men are playing cards. Two prisoners are unconscious or dead, tied to a tree. Slowly, you creep up and drop 3 drops into the cup of coffee one by a log. *crack* You break a twig, snapping the eyes of all three towards the forest line. Staring you down... And then past you, and all around. One gets up, moving to stand on the other side of the log in front of you. Flicking on a battered flashlight, he shines it into the trees, and on the ground. He shines it right over you, its all over now you tell yourself. But he instead just takes a sip of his coffee, and moves back to the game. You've got to work quick now, aiming your tiny crossbow with a prayer, you launch it 11 feet through the air with a soft twang, sticking the poisoned dart into the back of another's neck. Grabbing it with a surprised yelp, he stands up with a shout, grabbing his weapons and thus alerting his friends to do the same. But you have an ace up your well hidden sleeve, flicking the single shotgun shell straight at their feet to explode in an ear cracking bang. Not wasting a moment, you dash hard and fast to leap at the stunned, final enemy. Knees first, you break ribs as you collide, carrying him to the ground below you. With a quick jab to his throat, you sweep up his weapon and collide it down into his face again and again with grunts of exertion and determination. Your camouflaged face splattered with the once pulse-ridden corpse's life blood. You  take time to study the captives and supplies you've captured.

Whats this, a surprise! Yeah, daddy Kane didn't forget your needs. Amid the supplies you find a big glass jug, two gallons of gasoline, and a snake bite kit.

1.Put in a few drops of Gasoline, cap it, and swish it around gently to coat the inside of the jug until it evaporates.
2.Add a few drops of Potassium Permanganate from the snake-bite kit.
3.Throw it... Very far. Use a big ass ground mounted slingshot if you need to, it packs about half a stick of dynamite.
4.After you throw it, gravity should do the rest. It explodes upon breaking.

Stick around, and I'll teach you all about Astrolite, Plastique, Thermite, Solidox, and Fertilizer Bombs. Hope you enjoyed, don't do any of this, etc...

-JKane

30 comments:

  1. mmm i like these segments.
    it seems you have experience on these matters :P

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  2. I cannot wait for the segment on thermite. I've been trying for months but no success. :(

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  3. I may or may not have gone to school for a good portion of that. So kind of you to notice :)

    -JKane

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  4. Awesome information for survivalists and revolutionaries alike ;P

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  5. Your still in school? is that you in the picture by the way?

    I read your blog posts, and am pretty umm interested by what you write about. I have heard of this imminent appocalypse for many years now, are you referring to 2012 or something else?

    A revolutionary, is similar to a radical? Which word has a stronger tone, or meaning, when applied to an individual, I wonder.

    Also, apocalypse, I think, will not happen all at once, but at varying burts, don't you think? So logically, certain places will be hit first, and no all simultaneously?

    I mean I hear a tonne of things about New World Order Crisis, Apocalypse, and others, but I don't know, as a speculator myself, i'm quite confused.

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  6. Also, I voted mountain lion.. ^-^

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  7. Now I know how to make a Ghillie suit (never knew what it was called) I am ready to be on on To Catch A Predator. Well no, not THAT way, but you know, when the dudes go to leave and part of the shrubbery moves to take them down.

    Now to go find out if I stil have a snake bite kit. Ah, improvised weaponry...this is the way I used to remember the internet before the porn industry got here.

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  8. i am a survivalists so its good info.

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  9. lol some quality humour right there :D

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  10. wow inb4 this b log is shut down by homeland security, lmao:
    I enjoyed reading it though: also I wanna see the rest of the topics from the poll!

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  11. Again, a well-written post that provides the kind of information that to some may seem useless now, they'll be wishing they had written down when the time comes.

    Thanks again for maintaining such an interesting blog! I voted for Part 3, but I really wanted to vote for more than 1...

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  12. Thanks you all so much, especially BlueRad. Who the hell wouldn't want to hear about a sniper fighting a mountain lion with a goddam stick? Who does that!? I mean... Just saying it, it sounds awesome. That's all I'm saying.

    The comments really inspire me to keep going mates, especially when my income is super low. And don't you guys worry about the polls, the Topics will repeat :) And feel free to make any requests. I love my followers, and follow back religiously. (but more like its my full time job)

    It isn't me in the pic. His camo is shitty. ;)
    -JKane

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  13. Oh, and wrong kind of school. I should have said 'training'. But yes, I'm also in college, lol. Just not for explosives and stalking.

    -JKane

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  14. Plastique you say?! A post about early warning systems (like if you set up camp somewhere and wanted to know if someone was closing in on you) would be really cool. The old shotgun shell improvised mine/alarm comes to mind. Great post on keeping yourself camouflaged, and the ghillie suite how-to is great as well!

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  15. Thanks mates! I can do tripwires, snares, how to sleep, etc... Depends on if Part 3 gets voted in. Don't worry, all topics will be repeated in the poll if it doesn't win this time ;)

    You guys support me so much
    -JKane

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  16. i am looking forward to a mountain lion/stick post

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  17. I'm really, really enjoying these! Can't wait for the next installment!

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  18. Your poll has a problem, I can't vote for more than one thing at a time. >:\

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  19. Very relevant info bro!
    supporting and following~

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  20. poser. that is not how you do cammo xD

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  21. your welcome mate, thanks for your kind comment, you should do locks and combos next =D

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  22. Well um, this blog has been quiet informative for me. Lot's of things I didn't know. I have read a few from that how to make things into explosives book, though. Pretty interesting. Especially this blog. One of a kind. Oh and I updated that song I forgot was the wrong mix.

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  23. damn, damn. following, for anarchy! just kidding, but really, I'm following this. super interesting.

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  24. This is some awesome stuff shame here in australia its all illegal but oh well...
    I love all these survival tips as well, never no when the apocalypse is going to happen =P
    keep it up mate always following and checking out your posts
    cya

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